Saturday, 25 May 2013

Just not good enough.

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That feeling of never being good enough will always creep back, however good or bad that I feel.

I will never be the one that people think of, when I should be their first port of call.

I will never be acknowledged.

I will never look right or act right.

But I have to keep telling myself that the right people want me.

The people who raised me. The people who support me. The people that make me laugh. The people that make me eat. The people that know how to make me smile. The people that push me to be a better person.

I guess until I just saw that, I never really appreciated the right people.

Mum, for always doing everything to make my life the best it could be and for supporting me.
Andy, for being the best father-figure, for treating me as one of his own.
My Grandma, for being the fountain of all knowledge.
Uncle Phil, for being the constant support when I struggle.
Uncle Paul, for being my go-to guy to rant to!
DanDan, for being the gay best friend of my dreams!
Mike, for being that guy that I could never bear to lose.
Lexy, for being my constant.

Bon Jovi, for always having the right words.

Then my Argos girlies. Stacey, Jade, Lucy, Emma. I have known you 6 months, but I feel like I have known you forever. You're my family. Love you all so much.

The Argos boys. You all bring a smile to my face! Josh and Jack, you guys in particular, help me in so many ways.

The reason for this post? I saw something that disgusted me. That confused me. That hurt me. That didn't even surprise me.

I may be a crappy human being, but I know what's right and wrong. I have a backbone. Unlike them.
They will never get me. If they haven't so far, they won't anytime soon.

I'm nearly 21 years old, this shouldn't bug me so much. But it does.



Only fools are know it alls,
and I played that fool for you.

4 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I've DM'd you on Twitter! :) xxx

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  2. Big hugs.. <3
    It's okay to not be okay. There is no such thing as perfect and you don't have to conform to someones "ideals". As long as you know right from wrong and live your life as best as you can, you're plenty good enough x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just difficult when it's family, but the past few days has taught me that there's no need for those people, when plenty of other people take you as you are :) x

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